Letter 47

Dear Shay,

I'm 18 years old and I have a confusing problem. I started to talk to my ex-girlfriend back in December and I didn't plan to get back with her cause she already has a child from another guy. Since then she has wanted to be more than friends. We got together, but she left me in late January and went back to her ex-boyfriend. Then in February she called and told me that she is pregnant with our child. Then she went back to her ex.

My mom doesn't want me to be with her because she has a child. My family will probably stop talking to me cause this child might be mine and I am the oldest in my family. I don't know what to do. I’m thinking about staying with her until the baby is born and then leaving if it’s not mine. However, if it is mine I don’t want somebody else to take care of my child because that baby might love that other person more than me.

What should I do?

In most people's eyes, what you've done would be viewed as a mistake. However, in my opinion, there are no mistakes, just actions that require more work to fix than others. There is only one choice you really have to make: whether you are going to act responsibly or run from your problems. When I am faced with hard choices, I try to look at things the way Jesus would look at them. With this situation, I believe Jesus would make sure his child was taken care of. From the sound of your letter, that would mean adoption because it doesn’t sound like you are ready to be a father.

Trying to raise a child with a girl you are not in love with is not a good idea. This endeavor would definitely fail and you would not only risk hurting yourself and this girl, but the child as well. An unhealthy relationship between a mother and father only makes the child’s life worse.

Whatever you do, I suggest you do some praying. If you are unaccustomed to praying, check out Letters 14, 26 or 35.

I'll be asking for God to send you help. I see this help coming in the form of an old woman who will help straighten out some things for you.

May the Love of Jesus be with you always!

Love, Shay