Letter 58

Hi Shay,

Excuse me if my letter is going to sound confusing. I discovered your website and found it very insightful. I recently read a book regarding Guardian Angels and have become very much dependent on praying and writing to them. They seem to be working overtime because I have noticed immediate responses in my daily life. Just this past Friday, they put me in situation in which I had to encounter people from a previous work place where I chose to be fired as opposed to resigning. Its a long story....but I cried that night because I saw them as a family that I was not a part of anymore. It made me sad and I wondered what the angels were trying to tell me. My family's situation is this: we are looking for friendships and can't seem to find any. I look for female friendship, but I seem to repel others away. It's as if there is a curse on our family. Other families have friends calling, getting together, and going on vacations together. Friends stop over just for the fun of it! But we are by ourselves consistently. I have a birthday coming up and my husband and brother are trying to think of something to do, since it is my 40th. My brother suggested calling his friends for a party in my honor. They are HIS friends, because we have none. What should I do?

Start working at it. Oftentimes I find that people without friends aren’t taking the necessary risks and putting in the necessary work in order to find suitable friends. In the past, I have done many things in order to accumulate friends. I’ve joined recreational groups at my church, I’ve arranged parties for groups at school, and I’ve made regular phone calls to other friends in order to stay in their lives. Keeping up a good friend base relies on risk-taking and effort. It’s a big risk to throw a party and hope you can get enough people to make the party fun. Its hard. But its something that we all must go through if we want to continue to have lasting friendships during this lifetime.

I want you to do something for me. I want you to accept your brother’s invitation to bring some of his friends to your party. But I also want you to call up 5 friends of yours, no matter how close or distant they are. Politely invite them to the party. Doing this is a major step in the right direction because it is getting you into the mode of taking the proper risks necessary to build and keep friendships. Don’t worry if you haven’t seen these friends in 5, 10, or even 15 years. Just call them up and let the Lord do the rest.

I will be praying for your situation. I also suggest that you do one other thing. Every time you meet someone new, give them a big hug when you part ways. I’ve found this to be EXTREMELY helpful in gaining friends. Most everybody enjoys a good hug! It says a lot to someone when they get a hug after meeting someone for the first time. They get the message that you are a Loving person and they usually will want to be around you in the future. They’ll also be more open to invitations, etc.

May the Love of Jesus be with you always!

Love, Shay