Letter 69

Dear Shay,

I am a 36 year old woman with two children. My daughter is 11 and my son is 9. We have been through “hell” in our life. When I was their age, I suffered through years of abuse with my father beating on my mother. My father died when I was 10 years old. Unfortunately, I brought my children into this world only to see their father abuse us. The last time he beat me up was the summer of 1996. I was sleeping with my daughter, who was 6 then, in the bottom bunk of their bedroom. My son, who was 4, was in the top bunk. Their father came home in the middle of the night and punched me in my face, splattering my blood all over my daughter and then proceeded to pull me out of the bed and punch me again, in the face. He broke my nose in three different places.

Since then, we live in another state. I have custody of my two beautiful children and we are trying to go on with our lives. It seems as though no matter how far I get away from him, he is always “hurting” my children and me in some way or another. He threatened me when I left him in 1996, that if I was ever to get away from him that he would ruin me in every way possible. My children are deathly afraid of him and I have to send them back to see him every break that they have from school. It is so hard to put them on a plane knowing that they feel threatened by him. My son told me that this past summer his dad was beating him with a belt.

It is now the Christmas season and they are to spend Christmas with him. After what happened on September 11, they are afraid to fly and their father will not reason with his children. “I had better put them on a plane no matter how they feel about flying.” Consequently, he is taking me back to court for “Contempt of Court” for not following the court’s mandated visitation schedule. I can not afford a lawyer to represent me. I am following my voice within me…I like to think it is my guardian angel speaking to me. I know in my heart that if I do what I believe is the right thing, God will watch over us and keep us safe from harm. But I am so worried about what the courts will do to me if I do not send them. I am scared!

I do not know what the future will hold for me and my children. I am currently in the Navy and I am trying to relocate back to where my mother lives because she is ill and needs me with her. My mother and my children are my “gifts” from God and I cherish them with all of my heart and soul. I want to be happy in life, not sad and worried about what their father is going to do to this family in the future. He has lied willfully to the courts, almost killed me and has even voiced to me on the phone this past summer that if he had the chance to do over again, he would “kill” me if he could. My son was on the other end of the phone and heard him say these awful things to me. He is a “sick and evil” man.

He is now remarried and I am still single, trying to get by paycheck to paycheck. It seems as though he is being rewarded and I am being condemned. Why is God doing this to me? I don’t know how much more I can take. All of my faith is in the Lord but I feel as though I am doubting his Love and Strength because I have been hurt so much in my life.

I pray to God for guidance and strength everyday. I just want the “pain” to go away. But it seems as though it is getting worse. What have I done wrong? I don’t know…

Thanks for listening to me. I hope that you may have a few bits of advice. If not, I know you have many prayers and blessings that you can give to this family. I thank you, Mr.Shay, for being there…

Let me explain to you the kind of torture that waits for a man such as your husband. The kind of destiny that befalls a man such as him is so excruciating and so intense that he will probably never recover from it. His place in hell was designated long ago and no type of joy that he experiences in this world will ever make up for the kind of damnation that he will experience. Men who hit their wives are the worst of the worst. Guys like myself are sickened by men such as your ex-husband. And the Lord DOES deal with them accordingly. He does dole out the judgement. Your husband cannot comprehend what is waiting for him.

You have got to see the positive side of your situation. You still have time with your kids and because they’ll soon be 18, they are within a few years of being free from this monster. And if your husband is beating your son, I’m sure that the court would LOVE to hear about that. Last time I checked, men that beat their sons usually don’t get to see them again.

In regards to the pain…I want you to say a couple of prayers. The first one is for your ex-husband. Pray that he sees the light. Pray that he turns his life around. And pray that he realizes the road he is going down before he finds himself in eternal pain. Praying for our enemies is the best way to release ourselves from the pain that they have caused us. NEXT, pray for Jesus to send you a man that can truly show you the kind of Love that you have always been looking for. Pray for Him to send you a guy who Loves you so much that if the sky were falling, he’d keep it from falling on you. Those kinds of guys (and girls) are out there, and they do truly change lives. The Love that is waiting for you is truly only a prayer away. Simply say these two prayers once or twice a day and I guarantee you that life will improve.

What you’ve got to understand is this…if your husband is mistreating your children, there are agencies that can assist you. Simply call up your nearest Social Services office, explain your situation to them, and they can help you find what you need.

The big thing I want to point out to you is this….your husband is receiving NO REWARD. He is in the process of receiving the Wrath of God. So don’t FOR A MINUTE think that he has one up on you. He is in deep, deep, DEEP trouble.

I also want to say that you must FOCUS ON THE LOVE. Focus on the Love in your life. Enjoy the time you have with your kids, enjoy your good health, enjoy the fact that you CAN pray to the Lord. You DO know Him. YOU have FAITH!!! That is more important than anything else! Never lose that FAITH! Hold on to it with ALL YOUR MIGHT! It will get you through ANYTHING! And….if you have faith…YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG. Whatever pain you’re experiencing is only temporary and your Love for the Lord will get you through it. He’s simply molding you into a stronger and more Loving YOU!

And I will ALWAYS be praying for you. For the rest of my life, and after its over, I’ll be praying for you every day, twice a day!!! I will also ask Jesus to intervene in your situation!

Love, Shay