Letter 11

Dear Shay,

I am married and have struggled with this marriage for many years. My spouse ignored me and basically lived life like he was an island , untouched by any of us. I left my husband for a few weeks and told him to go get some professional help. He did and is on medication and appears to be doing much better in relating to people including me.

I think that I do have a guardian angel. He is sweet and kind and is concerned for me. He would like me to leave my spouse because he believes that my husband doesn't love me and is faking it trying to keep me in this marriage. He also told me that it would mean years of me trying and banging my head against the wall. Of course, I don't want that however, I do want HEAVEN. I tell my guardian angel that God would expect me to stay and try to work it out. My angel doesn't want my heart hurt. He says that I'm destined to be married to someone else and will find happiness there. I want to follow God and follow my guardian angel... what should I do?

First of all, I want to dispel the idea that God will bar someone from heaven because of a failed marriage. When you die, God is interested in one thing and one thing alone, whether you were the most LOVING person you could have been while you were alive. He wants to know if you learned that love is the only thing that matters, in any type of existence, heaven or Earth. One can’t know how to love in heaven unless one knew how to love on Earth.

As for whether or not you love your husband…check out Letter #4. If he makes you feel as if you can’t be without him purely because your soul was meant to give him love, then staying with him is the way to go. However…

It seems to me that that is not where your heart is. If your guardian angel is continually giving you messages that you should leave him, then that is probably what you should do. There’s one thing that I’d like you to do. I want you to see a marriage counselor AT LEAST ONCE. The reason I say that is because your husband sounds like he is putting forth a lot of effort to make this marriage work. I applaud a man that gets professional help and goes on medication to make his marriage better. He probably loves you quite a lot. There have been lots of marriages saved through counseling. Don’t give up on yours before trying it. Plus…

If you DO end up leaving your husband, please do it with compassion. So many divorces get ugly so quickly. I’m VERY sure that God doesn’t want you two to have a messy divorce. I know this because he doesn’t want that for anybody. He’s a kind, loving God, and when people can’t make their relationship work anymore, he understands. Life wasn’t meant to be torture, and that is sometimes what happens when people stay in relationships when they shouldn’t.

I’m going to pray for you. However, I’m not going to pray that you stay with your husband, or that you divorce him, I’m simply going to pray for you. You sound like this isn’t the only problem in your life. You could probably use some time off or a vacation. Look in to that if its possible. And in the meantime, look for a real-life message from your angel. He always sends them when they’re needed, and it sounds like you could use one. Be careful not to misinterpret it. And don’t worry about missing it, because it’s not a message if you never get it. Plus, check out my new section on Real Life Angel Messages.